Dear Jack

Dear Jack,

This week you start your 2nd year of Kindergarten. Even with school starting in 2 days, I'm not completely certain we made the right decision, but I do know that we made the best one we could- with much thought and prayer. I've spent night after night this summer awake, weeping & praying for you. Asking God to be tender and merciful to you. Praying and hoping that you will quickly make new friends and that you will also be able to hold on to those old friends that are so dear to you.

I have no doubt that you will, I just hope that it happens right away. One thing that every single teacher you've ever had has told us is, "Everyone loves Jack." And it's true. You've never met a stranger. You can talk to anyone. You love people and love to play.

I also hope you will know that you did not fail. Far, far from it. You came so far last year. You steadily progressed and grew so much. But, the truth is, it's hard to be the youngest in the class. Especially if you're a boy. And, the risks of not doing this were huge for you and for the rest of your life.

We want you to love to learn. We want you to be excited about school. We don't want you to spend every day frustrated because what you really needed was a little more time, not just more drills and practicing. We want you to know that you can do and be whatever you dream. (Except for a Jedi. Sorry sweet boy.) We don't want your joyful God-given spirit crushed because we were too scared to make a hard decision.

I know you can't read this now. And perhaps I'm only writing it right now to ease my anxious soul, but I hope one day, when you do read it, you'll know how much I love you and that you'll have always felt that love. You are a bright spot of joy in our household. I'm so proud to call you my son.

Post #265: Wherein I Begin Blogging...again...

It's been a while. A long while. In fact, about 6 months. A lot has happened.

Jack turned 5 & had a Peter Pan Star Wars party. (It's what he asked for- who am I to argue with that?)

(my little Peter Pan- so full of life & joy)

We went to Disney Land (we were there on Jack's birthday! All other birthdays will now be a huge disappointment.).

(thus begins annie's obsession with minnie mouse...)

Jack started kindergarten. (Note- he started on the 2nd day of school. On the 1st day I didn't believe that he was sick & he threw up all over himself in the car. Mommy fail.) He loves school, but it's been a hard year. The kind of hard year that makes a mama's heart ache & think there might be more hard years of schooling to come.

We had a little family photo shoot.

We had fun fall festivities where, try as I might I couldn't get one decent picture of my children together.

(Jack & his sweet friend Grayson during their Thanksgiving play.)

My Annie turned 2. (2!! That's big!!! I can't believe she's TWO!!)

And we celebrated a sweet Christmas.

(Because everything is more fun with a pillow pet.)

The end of 2010 is here & I'm feeling nostalgic about how much my children have grown & learned & become even brighter spots in our lives & days. I'm excited to see what 2011 brings!

Happy Father's Day!

How did I get so lucky?

JK Art Gala!

Tonight was an Art Gala for the JK class at Jack's school. It was amazing. His classroom was transformed to display the children's works of art. They spent many weeks studying the works of Kandinsky, Van Gogh, Giacometti, Mary Cassatt, Jacob Lawerence, Michelangelo, Calder & Edgar Degas. They then created their own works of art in the styles of these artists.

My mom stayed at home with Annie & Joh, Jack & I all went to dinner & the Gala. Jack was our gallery docent for the gallery. It basically meant he showed us his art & tried to resist body-slamming his classmates. He served us "delicious, delectable desserts" & sparkling water.

John & I were both blown away at the work the children created. John said he didn't know about some of these artists until he was in college & Jack, at just 4 years old, knows all about them. He would come home from school talking about Kandinsky & concentric circles, painting with knives like Van Gogh, and drawing ballerinas like Degas.

Jack has an incredible preschool teacher. This art unit is just one example of how much she has invested in Jack.

Hope you enjoy the pics as much as we enjoyed our evening!

Jack & his amazing teacher

Jack & his body-slamming BFF

Jack enjoyed many delicious delectable desserts

Me & my sweet boy

His Degas inspired ballerina is in the top left corner

Sunflowers

A whole class of Calder-mobiles

Giacometti inspired sculptures

Jack's sculpture was of Obi-Wan Kenobi

Mary Cassatt print

My dates for the evening

Dipping my toes back in...

(I think Annie looks a wee bit scared in this picture. Smart girl. I'm pretty sure Jack tried to pop her head off seconds after it was taken.)

I'm tentatively dipping my toes back into the blogosphere. Since Annie was born, I've had little time or energy for blogging, although I've had many different posts & thoughts rattling around in my head, all profound & very interesting I'm sure. I've missed writing because it helps me process & organize my thoughts & life. Writing helps me to remember all of my blessing that I so quickly forget in the day-to-day.

I'm adjusting to a new pace in life right now. I'm learning to adjust my expectations of what the day is going to look like & how much I'm going to accomplish. Baby girl was born 16ish months ago, so, obviously, I'm a slow learner. Just as there's been little time or energy for blogging, there's been little time or energy for pretty much anything else. My home seems to have fallen into a state of disrepair. Come over on any given day & you'll find piles of laundry waiting to be folded, more piles of laundry waiting to be put away & piles of laundry in the dryer- waiting for an empty basket to call home. (If you don't believe me, look in my hall. That's where it all hides.) The simplest cleaning task takes me days to accomplish, only to have it quickly undone by the little people living in my house. The weeds in my flowerbeds are overwhelming & embarrassing.

I asked my mom the other day if she ever got overwhelmed keeping up with the house when my brother & I were little. She said no- she only ever felt overwhelmed when I was a baby & wouldn't stop screaming. (Yes- payback's a bitch as you can see in THIS post...) This reaffirms to me that my mom is awesome & has super-human cleaning powers. Or, my brother & I were occasionally able to play on our own so she could get stuff done. I have neither of these things, so I'm learning to adjust & live in my reality- not an alternate reality where I'm actually Superwoman.

This morning, I tried to have a good attitude & just accept the fact that I was going to get nothing accomplished. I hung out with Annie while she crawled on the counters & shoved things in the toaster oven (I bet you didn't know that a toaster oven is a terrific toddler toy, did you? Buttons, knobs & a door that opens & closes keeps little hands & minds entertained for at least 15 minutes.), pulled dishes out of the cabinets, rummaged through all of my baking supplies, and climbed into the refrigerator. She had a blast & a huge mess was left in her wake when she went to nap time. But, instead of focusing on the mess that I now have to clean up in addition to the huge list of other things I need to do during her nap, I just tried to enjoy the moment (something I'm not very good at doing...). During that time I got lots of laughs & giggles, little jabberings, smiles, hugs & kisses. It was pretty awesome, and even though I didn't get any chores done, it did feel like I accomplished a lot.

So, now I'm off to empty the dishwasher, fold laundry & wash diapers- all things that are going to be undone in a day or sooner. But, I can do it knowing that the time I spend with my children will never be undone or replaced. That makes living in my dirty, bursting at the seams house a whole lot easier.

Picture Update

My sweet boy just started playing t-ball. My favorite part is seeing him in his uniform!

This little girl is growing up. And, turning into a blondie!

Easter Sunday with the Grandparents.

This is such an Annie face.

Why I Should Stop Cleaning: Exhibit A