I'm tentatively dipping my toes back into the blogosphere. Since Annie was born, I've had little time or energy for blogging, although I've had many different posts & thoughts rattling around in my head, all profound & very interesting I'm sure. I've missed writing because it helps me process & organize my thoughts & life. Writing helps me to remember all of my blessing that I so quickly forget in the day-to-day.
I'm adjusting to a new pace in life right now. I'm learning to adjust my expectations of what the day is going to look like & how much I'm going to accomplish. Baby girl was born 16ish months ago, so, obviously, I'm a slow learner. Just as there's been little time or energy for blogging, there's been little time or energy for pretty much anything else. My home seems to have fallen into a state of disrepair. Come over on any given day & you'll find piles of laundry waiting to be folded, more piles of laundry waiting to be put away & piles of laundry in the dryer- waiting for an empty basket to call home. (If you don't believe me, look in my hall. That's where it all hides.) The simplest cleaning task takes me days to accomplish, only to have it quickly undone by the little people living in my house. The weeds in my flowerbeds are overwhelming & embarrassing.
I asked my mom the other day if she ever got overwhelmed keeping up with the house when my brother & I were little. She said no- she only ever felt overwhelmed when I was a baby & wouldn't stop screaming. (Yes- payback's a bitch as you can see in THIS post...) This reaffirms to me that my mom is awesome & has super-human cleaning powers. Or, my brother & I were occasionally able to play on our own so she could get stuff done. I have neither of these things, so I'm learning to adjust & live in my reality- not an alternate reality where I'm actually Superwoman.
This morning, I tried to have a good attitude & just accept the fact that I was going to get nothing accomplished. I hung out with Annie while she crawled on the counters & shoved things in the toaster oven (I bet you didn't know that a toaster oven is a terrific toddler toy, did you? Buttons, knobs & a door that opens & closes keeps little hands & minds entertained for at least 15 minutes.), pulled dishes out of the cabinets, rummaged through all of my baking supplies, and climbed into the refrigerator. She had a blast & a huge mess was left in her wake when she went to nap time. But, instead of focusing on the mess that I now have to clean up in addition to the huge list of other things I need to do during her nap, I just tried to enjoy the moment (something I'm not very good at doing...). During that time I got lots of laughs & giggles, little jabberings, smiles, hugs & kisses. It was pretty awesome, and even though I didn't get any chores done, it did feel like I accomplished a lot.
So, now I'm off to empty the dishwasher, fold laundry & wash diapers- all things that are going to be undone in a day or sooner. But, I can do it knowing that the time I spend with my children will never be undone or replaced. That makes living in my dirty, bursting at the seams house a whole lot easier.