I've been THAT MOM numerous times this week. We've all seen her. She's at your local supermarket, Target, mall on a cold and rainy day, pushing a shopping cart or stroller with a serene vacant stare on her face as her child throws a fit. And you wonder, why doesn't she take her kid home??? I found out why this week. Because if she did she would pull all of her hair out.
Jack threw a tantrum in Target when I put him in the seat part of the cart (he was previously in the big part & wouldn't stay sitting down, so the 100th time he almost pitched over the side I forced him into the seat). He screamed & screamed & screamed until I finally held him in the checkout line. All I knew was I couldn't go home or we would both have meltdowns. He's also been hitting me all week. If he was stronger I would have little tiny fist marks all over my face. We both need the weather to get nicer so we can run around outside.
This week as I've been grappeling with how in the world I'm supossed to discipline a toddler who doesn't have any impulse control to begin with, I've been concentratrating on not wishing away his toddler years, or rather toddler months. I know the time will come very soon when I'll miss his sticky little hands in my hair & I'll miss when the whole world was waiting for Jack to discover it. We get a thrill with every new thing he does & every new word he tries to say. He's learning so much right now it blows my mind. Yet, weeks like this are trying. I think if he could say the words he would say he hates me this week.
And so I ask God to give me the grace to raise my child gently, with patience and love and not with the frustration I often feel that makes me feel like such a bad mother. And I get blessed with dance parties, laughs & bath time at the end of each day.